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Hello! How are you? How is everything? I'm prefacing my thoughts with the aforementioned questions. I do this because I have been feeling a reasonable amount of guilt for my negligence. I have been receiving an A+ in all of my classes, surprising considering that they are comprised of AP courses, and I've been socializing as one normally would. Hell, I've even been volunteering throughout! I have been doing all of these activities — without fervor. I dislike that. I truly dislike that facet of myself. Logic dictates that I should be enjoying myself and those I surround myself with, but I have not. Beneath my neutral demeanor is an unwavering sense of apathy that is draining me, both as a Student Writer and within my disposition. A number of events have occurred throughout these months, some pleasant and others entirely unfortunate.
Please, do not misunderstand. I am not attempting to evoke emotions or harbor sympathy. I'm simply sharing my thoughts in the aspiration that I can inspire someone, anyone. Writing has the ability to save lives. People may not need one another, but we certainly do need to hear things, and I wish to be exemplary of that. I must change myself; for the future and betterment of my person, wholly. I am not religious. My revelation is not one of Christ or divergent from the Hindu faith in which my parents divulge. I have neither spent time genuinely ruminating amongst my scattered mind, nor do I consider it a midnight epiphany. It is a quiet realization that has dawned upon me. I must cultivate the ambitions and expectations I set for myself; it is both my purpose and duty to create a difference.
To whomever read the entirety of this linguistically unhinged jargon, I appreciate your patience. It is a virtue many do not possess. There are only a countable amount of aphorisms I can create. Amongst them is the concept that your intrinsic value is not determined by others. Your failures do not determine your character. Your actions, perpetuated attitude, and mindsets, however, do.
Words do not contain the prowess they once did. I encourage you to find the crescendo in my individual letters, as I am pouring my thoughts out. I do not expect one to be vitalized after reading this, but I do anticipate that this renders you to motivate yourself and aim for your aspirations. Confidence is a concept that people are finding increasingly difficult to relate to, and it can be grueling to traverse across the journey of loving oneself and learning to do so. Truly, I do believe that such a pilgrimage is worth it. Nothing is promised in life aside death, but you must have faith in yourself — a genuine definite.
Happiness: The state of being happy.
But what exactly does 'h a p p y' qualify beneath? Ultimately, that endeavor is something defined by you. Nonetheless, it is a simple chemical in our brain, created by the hormones serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. It is also created by you. Solely you. You must fertilize and understand what fabricates your contentment. You cannot authentically be joyful around others if you cannot find that joyfulness in yourself. I am not encouraging you to reach an inner Nirvana or claim one does not need to surround themselves around civilization, but you needn't tread the line of unraveling into nothingness during the circumstance of forlorn happenings.
Your satisfaction in life is dependent upon your outlook. It is not deep-rooted in something so menial as feelings. Emotions are fleeting, happenstances that exist one moment and dissolve like crystal speckles the next. Happiness is a decision, a choice, and a cognizant one at that. It is a habit one must force upon themselves, a mechanic we must master. I am no Saint. I am flawed, and I have been pressed, bruised, and made an uncountable number of mistakes, but I am uttering the truth as unwaveringly as I possibly can. Consider me idealistic, but please do not forget your value.
With that parting message, I would also like to add that I hope you are succeeding within your occupational field, or as a student attending school. I bid you all a wonderful day. Be happy. You certainly deserve it.
"Whatever you are, be a good one."